Sorry. No Title!

This is my first time of being kicked out from the class. It hurts actually. At first, I was holding myself to not to cry but actually, I must cry in order to make my heart feels better. I don’t wanna burden my heart. For me, I never thought that she can be such cruel. She never considers my reason at all or maybe show a lil bit sympathy. Even though, I’ve tried to show my letter to her but she did not want to see it. I think she cannot be a lecturer. How could she be so heartless? I am now deciding that it’s okay if I can’t score BEL paper just like past semesters. This time i realized that I can’t get an A for BEL anymore. I have my own strategy to remain the CGPA.
I felt relief that I’ve sent the group works to her. I was just thinking about Fiera and Wani. I don’t want them to be scolded by her just because of my absence. Even though, I can’t go in but at least I was able to send those papers to her. I still wanna show my responsibility as a part of the group. Work still work.
What goes around always comes around. I hope she realizes the thing she has done to her students. I’m not a kid anymore. But at least give me a chance to change my bad attitude not just simply punish without consideration.
I felt sad when I heard that there is a screen student who comes late to the class but still she can give him the cutest smile and allows him to go in. What the fuck is that? I just don’t understand why she is so unfair! I can see from her eyes that she doesn’t like me but who cares! It’s not her who’s going to mark my final paper. I’m just tired of being nice and pretending that I like the way she teaches me in the class. Now I understand why my classmate has given up to stay in her class and decided to repeat the paper. I will pray for him that he will not get that kind of lecturer for his BEL future class.
For those who never be in my shoes, please don’t break my heart by saying those rubbish words. I know that I’m neither a good example nor a role model for my classmates even though I get Dean List for every semester. I’m so sorry guys but still I do my best in every single thing. No body’s perfect. Like me, I’m not perfect. I have so much weaknesses than you guys ever know.
Right now, I’m just thinking that whatever it is, I will attend the class no matter how hurt it is and pretend like nothing happens. I do it for my ayah and mama and my siblings. I know that they are expecting me to be the best. It’s just you know, I have a habit to come late to the class. Haha. I hope my classmates will ignore and not ask me about this shit thing. I feel totally embarrassing. 

Someone told me that there’s nothing to worry about, I’ve faced a bunch of worse experiences rather than this! She’s just my antagonist in chapter of my life or else a boulder that trapped Aron Ralston in a canyon.

4 responses to this post.

  1. ooo kay art kenal lecturer tu =)sabar ye tyra, pedulikan je hehe


  2. tyra cuba sabar kak art tp memang sedih sangat2. rasanya pengalaman ni memang tak boleh lupa sampai mati pun.


  3. Yeah, you go girl! Just face those people, and show them what you're capable of. By the way, I NAK DOUBLE DATE DGN YOU!


  4. thnks syuhada. i buat mcm u cakap, just buat bodo cz i still remember u told me this "orang cool mcm kita je kena halau" hahaha. double date? sangat2 la bole. bila? u nnt da nak masuk sem 2 degree kan. better cepat. haha


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